Robert got his wheelchair the other day, finally. And man, is it nice. Sitting next to the Invacare 9000 rental (list price, $989), the Tilite SX (base price $3095; final bill to insurance company, $8165) looks like a Lexus sitting next to an old Ford Maverick.

And it makes all the difference in the world in his outlook, and that is priceless! Already today, he’s ventured out to the grocery store with the care giver, and insisted on putting most of the groceries away himself.

The rental chair was a completely inappropriate chair for Robert. It is not a chair for a para, the footrests were huge, the chair was way too wide for him (I suspect it was a bariatric chair), and because our old apartment has fairly narow doorways, he was basically confined to the bedroom unless I wheeled him out (sans footrests).

Me and my toes and my cats and their tails better watch out!! Go, Robert!

It finally happened. The physical therapists at TIRR warned it would. They always said, it’s not a matter of if, but when. When you fall.

I was running late getting off work last night and called the house around 6 p.m. When Robert answered, I asked my customary question, “Is everything okay?” He replied that it wasn’t, that he’d fallen out of the bed when he was sitting up with his legs over the side of the bed. I could tell he was upset. He said he felt frustrated and helpless laying there. I asked him why he didn’t call me right away. He said he called Pete (the care taker) and left a message. He knew I’d be home soon.

I told him that I was leaving right away and when I got out of the garage, I called on my cell phone. I decided to talk on the phone while I was driving home. I sensed that my voice had a calming effect on Robert and we talked about some other stuff. Besides, I told him, if I have a wreck while talking on the phone, it will at least serve the purpose of getting your mind off YOUR problems!

We talked about how I might get him up off the floor. We both remembered what we were told (but never shown) at TIRR, and that was to lay the wheelchair on its back, with the seatback on the floor. And to then scoot Robert somehow toward the chair on his back, with his behind (tush?) right up against the seatbottom (which now is perpendicular to the floor). And then once he’s in position, I get behind him and lift the wheelchair and him to an upright position. Robert expressed doubts that either of us would be strong enough to pull this off.

When I was about 8 blocks from home, Robert told me that Pete had arrived. I told him to stay put and explain to Pete our evil plan. With Pete and me there, we should be able to get Robert up.

So when I got home Robert was laying on the floor in a lounging position. He said he was comfortable. (The floor is carpeted, fortunately!) I went ahead and changed the bed linens while I had the chance. Then between me and Pete, and with Robert directing traffic, we got him into position in the chair. But it was harder than we’d thought to actually lift him up. Pete had to pull up with all his might, Robert held onto my arms and I positioned myself between the wheels and pulled Robert toward me while Pete pushed. Four grunts later, we lay exhausted, like bees after stinging, Robert in his chair, Pete on the floor and me in the bed!

Robert felt much better once he was back upright. We ordered take out, and spent the rest of the evening just relaxing.

All’s well that ends well, I guess. And at least he’s got that behind him. But I do want to work on my strength. Pete may not always be around to help us out and we have to figure out how to do these things between the two of us.

Here are some tips to avoid awkwardnss when interacting with someone in a wheelchair (from wheelchairnet.org):

1. It is appropriate to shake hands with a person who has a disability, even if they have limited use of their hands or wear an artificial limb.
2. Always ask the person who uses a wheelchair if he or she would like assistance before you jump in to help. Your help may not be needed or wanted.
3. Don’t hang or lean on a person’s wheelchair. A wheelchair is part of his or her own personal or body space, so don’t lean on it, rock it, etc.
4. Speak directly to the person who uses the wheelchair, not to someone who is nearby as if the wheelchair user did not exist.
5. If your conversation lasts more than a few minutes, consider sitting down, etc. to get yourself on the same eye-level as the person who uses the wheelchair. It will keep both of you from getting a stiff neck!
6. Don’t demean or patronize the person who uses a wheelchair by patting him or her on the head.
7. When giving directions, think abut things like travel distance, location of curbcuts and ramps, weather conditions and physical obstacles that may hinder their travel.
8. Don’t discourage children from asking questions of a person who uses a wheelchair about their wheelchair. Open communication helps overcome fearful or misleading attitudes.
9. When a person who uses a wheelchair “transfers” out of the wheelchair to a chair, pew, car, toilet or bed, do not move the wheelchair out of reach. If you think it would be best to move it for some reason ask the person who uses the wheelchair about the best option for them.
10. It is OK to use expressions like “running along” or “let’s go for a walk” when speaking to person who uses a wheelchair. It is likely they express the idea of moving along in exactly the same way.
11. People who use wheelchairs have varying capabilities. Some person who use wheelchairs can walk with aid or for short distances. They use wheelchairs because they help them to conserve energy and to move about with greater efficiency.
12. Don’t classify or think of people who use wheelchairs as “sick.” Wheelchairs are used to help people adapt to or compensate for the mobility impairments that result from many non-contagious impairments. Some of these are, for example, spinal cord injury, stroke, amputation, muscular dystrophy, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, post polio, heart disease, etc.
13. Check your assumptions! Don’t assume that using a wheelchair is a tragedy. Wheelchairs when they are sell fitted and well chosen are actually a means of freedom that allows the user to move about independently and fully engage in life.
14. Don’t pet guide dogs or other service animals…they are working.

Other links:

Dizabled.com.
Myths and Facts About People With Disabilities from the Easter Seals web site.